hallowe'en

If you're smart, youll arm yourself like joe here.....
its coming, once again the little horned men are working out and greasing themselves up so that by th 31st they'll be oily and strong enough to open the gates of hell. robed warlocks are dusting off their hats and buying new batteries for their assorted glowey bits and bobs and the old man in the cellar who makes ridiculous rubber masks is finaly getting paid for his work. the dead are trying to claw their way up to the surface with shoddily made digging tools and foolishly long nails and the lead guitarist of slipknot has started to refuse to come out into the daylight. Im talking of course about hallowe'en, that time of year when its okay to key your neighbours car and pop out of a bush to scare the little old lady at number 14. the time of year when sacrificing your best friend to the demon gigglimesh is not considered morally wrong and where you can cover your 5 a day fruit and veg with chocolate and still call yourself a healthy eater, so crack open a keg of mining grade explosives, sharpen your kitchen tools and stock up on canned food and batteries. you may never eat again.

in case, like joe, you come across some nasty dead folk